Before we begin… Lets get one thing cleared up, I suck at dating. I put the girl who is in “How to lose a guy in 10 days” and “He’s just not that into you” to shame. Honestly not quite sure if it’s my clingy nature, the fact that I am tad bit chubby (( I like food)), or the fact that well… to be blunt… I’m an eccentric person. I’ll take some of the blame BUTTTTTTTTT this page is dedicated to all those I talked to, planned to date, or have dated, and has just gone COMPLETELY wrong. Names will be changed cause im not a complete a**hole
Lets Start this with a bang Shall We
You’re A Naughty One Mr. Grinch
So I matched this guy Ollie on dating site, and he is absolutely drool worthy. Former Marine, Mechanic, owned a jeep, and incredible father. Ollie and I had amazing chemistry but knew he was out of my league. One day… I got a text from a friend who sent something they thought I would get a good laugh from. I clicked on the link and it was a well detailed post about a girl who had a Grinch fetish. The whole post made me laugh so hard I was in tears. ((No offence people with Grinch fetishes, but seriously he looks like a walking weed monster xD)) Anywho… So I thought OH I SHOULD SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE!! So I SS the post and send the SS to all my friends, and one of the people was Ollie. I knew that he would laugh as hard as I did. Well… He did get a laugh, but not in the way that I thought he would. Ollie starts asking me how long have I had a Grinch fetish? Do I like the Furry Grinch or would just green paint work. I start laughing harder, and try to convince him that I definitely don’t have a thing for furry green men. He informs me that he’s read my writing, and my twitter stuff so he knows my style writing. I look the post over, and he was unfortunately not wrong. It looked just like my style writing, and our ages weren’t far from each other. This turns into weeks of an ongoing joke, but I’m pretty sure in the back of his mind he still was convinced if he dressed up like the Grinch I would jump into his bed.
Follow up: We did meet, but unfortunately he chemistry we had online did not translate into person. We were both socially awkward, and I truly believe that he was looking for someone more confident, and more athletic. He continued to text me for 2 days, before running into the sun, and leaving me behind to continue my dating journey.
Twisted Enchanted World 